On The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night (May 15, 2017), the talk show host requested two things — that Trump resign and that we get to keep Sean Spicer.
“I’ve got good news and and bad news,” Stephen Colbert announced at the top of the show. “The bad news: The Washington Post is reporting that Trump revealed highly classified information to the Russian foreign minister and ambassador. The good news? Trump found the leaker … That was fast.”
Recapping the bullet points of the story, he noted that when Ambassador Sergey Kislyak and Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov were in the Oval Office last week, “Trump apparently went off-script and began describing details about an Islamic State terrorist threat. That is unbelievable. Trump had a script?!?”
Colbert then relayed how the Post editors wouldn’t go into detail about what intel Trump shared. Because it was code-word information, “vital aspects of the story had to be replaced with other words. You have to say things like, ‘The package has been delivered,’ ‘The squirrel is in the basket’ or ‘The idiot is in the Oval.'” Watch that clip above.
Colbert played some of Trump’s “hard-hitting interview” with Jeanine Pirro at Fox News, where Trump repeated his threat to cancel the press briefings and do them himself. “Oh, sir, please don’t do your own press conferences,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “They’re always such fountains of eloquence and bastions of dignity — what would we make jokes about the next day?”
Trump also assured Pirro that Spicer is a good guy who’s just getting beat up in the press. “Okay, he’s firing Sean Spicer,” Colbert translated. “Luckily, that time Sean spent in the bushes will come in handy next week when he’s working at the Home Depot.”
“I have something to say here,” Colbert said. “Donald Trump, if you’re watching, first of all, you’re a bad president, please resign. Second of all, please, please, please don’t take Sean Spicer from us! Where else am I going to get my daily dose of veiled anger and condescension?”